Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Flying Home. Or Something Like That.

You know that awesome feeling of being saved when you suddenly realise you've forgotten your wallet to work and thankfully  remember at the nick of time so you can borrow some money from your mother who is just about to drop you..? So, now you don't have to go around asking random  people for money so you can catch a bus home?I experienced that today.And then my Boss's car got held up behind mine because mom was paying me. So it took a lot of mental strength not to hit my head repeatedly against the wall  in frustration. 

And then I let go because that kind of stress is the reason we still have assholes in this world. It's a fact. Stress wafts and floats into the asshole factory proving to be the vital missing ingredient for true brown assholery (because assholes are full of shit..get it get it?? I'm so funny I surprise myself, unless this is construed as some sort of a racist slur...let's go with beige then? True Beige assholery? Fuck it, it's called true blue for a reason, because it rhymes, why do I do this to my head?). So I stared out of the window willing the stress to ease out of me and watched  a crow steal a piece of mutton  liver and fly on to a parapet, and then mouth feed it to his lover.

It could have been a brother or a sister, but let's just assume it was a lover (because I am romantic like that). The liver was maroon, and I could see some of the blood drip while the crow flew with it surreptitiously. It was kept at the top of a shopping bag, resting on a bicycle handle bar. The bicycle was parked. It belonged to a man who was visiting a random homeopathy doctor's clinic with his little son after grocery shopping (just another day at the Indian bazaar) If I were a contemporary of William Shakespeare, I would have probably construed this as  portentous occurring.Except, I found it quite adorable.

This should be some sort of a benchmark for love tests right? Can your lover fly? steal yummy food for you? and then feed it to you without getting caught?Then it's true love lady. Please proceed.

And while some of us are not always lucky to have (I'm going in for some kind of metaphor here, bear with me) air borne partners who help you zoom and swish through life,  there are  those moments when you can trust  yourself, your family and friends  to always save you just a little bit so you can  get  to the one place that really matters at the end of the day: Home.

Friday, April 4, 2014

A Brief Recap.

I dreamt I was in a top secret research project. Except something was going completely wrong like it happens in thrillers (people dying, reactors exploding, you get the gist). And  this guy in the team finally figured out who the culprit was. She was the accountant with a stun gun and obviously she was present when the righteous man deduced all of this,so she stunned everyone except me, because she was confused if I was dead or alive. Because the whole time this was happening, I was lying down  with my eyes closed. I may have been a cat in my dream. And then this accountant knelt down,  tore my eyelid open and....

She.licked.my.eye.balls.

That's when I woke up.

And now I will  never feel safe in a room with  the accountant at office.

It's weird how fast everything's happened.. it feels like days since.my ex colleagues shoved me out of the Uni. And suddenly I was walking into a world of dress codes, and this whole text book  salary lingo that I'm still getting accustomed to. My mother doesn't get it either because she's self employed. She thought the whole concept of Employees Provident Fund was really just an elaborate trick to reduce my salary unnecessarily. It was giving both of us a headache for a while.

And then there was the whole matter of the job. Being a part of the professional world kind of brings what it calls "networking" but is more like watch-me-embarrass-myself-in-ten-different-ways-in-a-social-gathering.   And it made me wonder if  there was  a job where people could just  talk without having any consequences? Because the pressure of constantly not sounding inappropriate was getting to me. .

And it's only been a month or so. I don't know what lies ahead.  But I'll just be happy if no eyeballs are hurt by the time I begin to get a grasp of this.